Thinking

To today I was thinking that I want to do more thinking. I was reflecting back on my 26 plus years as a mother and how much time have I put into just thinking? I know this might sound funny to some people but most days as a mother of small children it was all I could do to stay awake through the day because there definately was no sleep at night. So I went through the motions a lot of the time but did not have to think much about changing diapers, feeding babies, washing clothes, doing dishes, etc. Then teenagers entered my home and my thinking had to change gears a little but not much - a sixteen year old throws the same fits a two year old does when they don't get their way. My time was (or is) spent getting them all the many places that children need to be. The taxi cab driver part of my job is for me the most exhausting now. I do think some while driving but that could be really hazardous to the other drivers on the road. So the real introspective thinking that I am talking about I have not put much effort into. I have pondered the scriptures, read lots of good books and thought about them but not really thought about how I fit into it all. I love good writing. I do not know that what I think is good writing others would, but if it makes me think then to me it is good. I recently finished the book "The Secret Life of Bees". The story was good, but what has got me thinking was how the life of a bee works. The author was good at putting some little fact about bees at the beginning of each chapter and as you read you could see how the girls life resembled that of the bees. This was something I had never thought of before. Today I was listening to a podcast that I like and I really got to thinking about what she was saying related to me and my life and how I do things. I don't think I have any real talents but the perspective she put on things made me see that even if I am borrowing the idea I am still creating. I grew up with really creative people. My mother and sisters and daughters just blow me away with how they see things and can create, draw, write, and cook (I mean create from scratch the most delious food you ever tasted). My friends all are as awesome and talented. So I never considered that I had any special talent other than that of copying from those around me and making it my own. The bees in the hive all have special talents, they all contribute to the hive in their own special way. The hive could not exist without each of them. I am surrounded by busy bees all working hard to do what they need to to live and love. This really has got me to thinking what is my job in the hive? How do I fit into my surroundings and do my talents contribute as much I as I feel others do? Am I contibuting in a worthwhile way or spending my time and energy in lazy ways? I am just thinking about all of this and have not come to any conclusion yet but I am so happy that I am at a place right now where I can take the time and have the energy to think about it. I love all of my life and feel like I am entering a new phase of life as a grandmother. So as a grandmother it is my time to think! (inbetween running everyone everywhere and cleaning and making dinner and folding clothes and, and, and, and,)