Joy

I taught Relief Society a couple of weeks ago. The topic was scripture study and prayer. I thought about this lesson for a long time. In the process I learned some interesting things about myself. I have become really aware of how the spirit works for me. When I am thinking about a lesson that I am to teach it seems that I hear and see things that pertain to that subject. It was something that happened when I taught Seminary so that part was not new to me. Teaching Seminary was different though because it was daily that the promptings had to come, this time I had three months to study, ponder, contemplate and let the spirit work its wonder on me. This is what was new for me. Having so long to think on one subject. I have not had that many opportunities to teach in this ward. Teaching is what always kept me in the scriptures studying and learning. I have had to come up with some pretty creative ways to get myself to stay invested in the scriptures without the crutch of studying to teach. I think that is why I loved working on this topic so much. I had a new awareness of the spirit in a completely different way. I have been thinking about this for the last couple of weeks since my lesson. I have been doing my "14-day walk with Christ". And even though I typed it up and worked on the handout I have been amazed at what Heavenly Father wants me to know right now at this moment. As I have struggled with one of my lovely teenagers, this experience (the walk with Christ) has let Him be able to talk to me through the scriptures. I know He loves me and knows my heartache. But I also know that I cannot wallow in self-pity, that is not where my joy can be found. The amazing thing that I have thought about is that each of the sisters who took on this challenge will find just exactly what she needs with this experience. I am humbled to think that my Heavenly Father loves me so much that He saw fit to give me a gift (that of the scriptures) to help me on my journey here on earth. I have set new goals. I am going to try a little harder to do what He has taught me over the last couple of weeks as I have let myself walk with Him. That was the point of my lesson, to learn to make time for Him in my life on a daily basis. I have new things to study for and new experiences to have with the scriptures, but I hope that I never forget that for a couple of weeks I let Him walk with me through an amazing experience. I hope that when I need it, I will remember to invite Him in and walk beside me. I hope that I don't try to do it alone and think later I should have gone to Him first. I have found a new kind of joy that I never want to let go of; even if a certain teenager decides to try and test that joy. Or for that matter, if anyone gives me grief I know where my joy lies. What is so funny about how I feel is that I have known this . I have taught this principle. But I have not always lived it. I think after all these years I am finally really understanding how a daughter of Heavenly Father can become one who knows and acts on what she knows. I am grateful for all that He has put in my path to bring me to this point - I love my new found feeling of joy!