Pondering a thought

So I have been thinking a lot lately about a talk that I heard two weeks ago. I don't know who gave it or what the forum was but there has been a phrase that has stuck in my head and I keep thinking about it when I have my quiet moments. I don't know why it has resonated with me this last couple of weeks. I have a feeling it is something that I needed to hear for what I had been praying about for quite a while. Because I have children who don't accept and act on the teachings they have been brought up with I think that this had a special meaning to me. The thought went something like this. "We need to use our agency to turn ourselves over to the Lord." As I have thought of this other thoughts have come to me. Mostly that the world around us makes it hard for us to commit our agency to God. We can become so distracted with other things, even good things, that we can get out of the spiritual habits that we have committed to. I sometimes think we fill our lives with our own treats and and then we put ourselves in a position so that we cannot or won't accept the "bread of life". It takes a lot of faith to choose the good. As we delay our commitment to the Lord it makes us vulnerable to those things in the world that can distract us. I need to develop the skill to give up some experiences to choose the ones that will lead me to God. That does not mean to give up my hobbies or activities but maybe knowing that even though those experiences bring me joy and happiness there is another kind of joy that can bring me even greater happiness. What I have been trying to be better at is putting the things the Lord wants me to do first. As I have done this I have thought "What is God trying to make of me?"I think He could make much more of me if I let Him. As I have looked back on the last couple of years and all the things that I have laid at His feet - what have I let Him lay at my feet? How have I made choices that show I am committed to developing the spiritual habits I need to? I really think that when we use our agency to turn ourselves over to the Lord we become free and whole! So in pondering these thoughts about myself I have come to realize how it all works for my children. I don't make excuses for what their choices have been but I can see how they could make them. I needed that understanding because I then realize that they are just as apt to come back to the teachings they have been taught when they come to the place in their lives where they want to turn their agency to the Lord. This has brought a lot of peace as I wander through my days being a wife, mother, sister, aunt, daughter, friend, and now a grandmother! I am so thankful I was listening that one Sunday afternoon - that the Lord knew that first, I needed to hear these things and second, that I needed to ponder it for a while to let it sink deep into my heart so that the spirit could teach me!