A witness of faith

I have been thinking again. Sometimes it is funny how things overtake my thoughts and how I have to ponder and search for just how I feel about it. The last couple of weeks I have been overwhelmed with the references to faith. All of the different classes and even showing up during personal study time. I understand the principle very well. I know how it all works. So why have I been thinking so much about it? I have been through some really tough things in my life. But I have never considered that my faith was being tested. I have always had faith and my simple testimony. That is not to say that I have not been hit with really hard things to deal with. But what I have found is that my faith has carried me through the trial or adversity and lifted me and carried me when I could not do it on my own. I now think I know why that has come to be. During Sunday school a couple of weeks ago my mind became open to the fact that as we keep Jesus Christ in front of us and hold on to our faith it is constantly leading us towards Him. I seem to always turn towards Him when a hard thing comes at me. I don't think to look elsewhere for relief. I had not before put the two side by side in my thoughts. So for me an "ah ha" moment.

A word that keeps popping up in the scriptures to me as of late is "walk". I seem to see that as we keep walking, not standing still or even sitting down, we are moving forward. We are not asked to run or jog or skip but just to walk. As I have pondered that thought I know that I can walk. With the Savior in front of me I can walk anywhere! This simple peace that fills me is there because I have experienced what it is like to "walk" not "run" through a trial.

A year ago I was so sad because of the choices of my daughter. My heart ached so much for her to turn from the trouble she was in and come back to the safety of her family. It has been a long, long year and many many nights of prayer. I have often felt much peace and comfort. My faith was stronger than any other time in my life. It held me as I put it on the Savior and let him carry the load. It allowed me to be able to still love this sweet daughter of God. My anger and hurt have gone way to love and hope. Last night this girl came over for a little while. We have not seen her for a few weeks. She was having a horrible time. She spent much of the afternoon in tears. I let her have her space. I wanted her to feel safe here not on the defensive. Finally after a long afternoon and evening as she need to leave she turned to her father and asked for a father's blessing. My heart stopped. She was finally at a place where she desired to feel the peace that she could only get through that blessing. How grateful I am that David immediately responded and was able to bless her. When he took her home and they talked he was able to teach her and comfort her a little. Her trials are many now. She has had a hard time of things, mostly from her choices but some because of things out of her control.

As we were doing family night and Chelsea and Paige were both there - some of the kids to sick to come down from their beds - we talked and sang the articles of faith. We learned three of them together (actually helped Autumn and Taylor work on them) How sweet to hear from their mouths the words of faith that will sustain them and carry them through their trials. Those two girls of mine knew that last night we would be together as a family. They wanted to join us and be with us. Even though they might choose other things at this point I know in their hearts they have the seed of faith planted and as they continue to turn to it, it will grow and grow and they can once again feel the sweet peace the gospel can bring them. I know they can "walk". It might be slow to start and maybe even a few steps backwards but eventually they will move forward! I am so glad my mind was open to hear what I was to learn over the last few weeks so I would recognize the principles in action as I witnessed it with an open and forgiving heart!