A witness of faith

I have been thinking again. Sometimes it is funny how things overtake my thoughts and how I have to ponder and search for just how I feel about it. The last couple of weeks I have been overwhelmed with the references to faith. All of the different classes and even showing up during personal study time. I understand the principle very well. I know how it all works. So why have I been thinking so much about it? I have been through some really tough things in my life. But I have never considered that my faith was being tested. I have always had faith and my simple testimony. That is not to say that I have not been hit with really hard things to deal with. But what I have found is that my faith has carried me through the trial or adversity and lifted me and carried me when I could not do it on my own. I now think I know why that has come to be. During Sunday school a couple of weeks ago my mind became open to the fact that as we keep Jesus Christ in front of us and hold on to our faith it is constantly leading us towards Him. I seem to always turn towards Him when a hard thing comes at me. I don't think to look elsewhere for relief. I had not before put the two side by side in my thoughts. So for me an "ah ha" moment.

A word that keeps popping up in the scriptures to me as of late is "walk". I seem to see that as we keep walking, not standing still or even sitting down, we are moving forward. We are not asked to run or jog or skip but just to walk. As I have pondered that thought I know that I can walk. With the Savior in front of me I can walk anywhere! This simple peace that fills me is there because I have experienced what it is like to "walk" not "run" through a trial.

A year ago I was so sad because of the choices of my daughter. My heart ached so much for her to turn from the trouble she was in and come back to the safety of her family. It has been a long, long year and many many nights of prayer. I have often felt much peace and comfort. My faith was stronger than any other time in my life. It held me as I put it on the Savior and let him carry the load. It allowed me to be able to still love this sweet daughter of God. My anger and hurt have gone way to love and hope. Last night this girl came over for a little while. We have not seen her for a few weeks. She was having a horrible time. She spent much of the afternoon in tears. I let her have her space. I wanted her to feel safe here not on the defensive. Finally after a long afternoon and evening as she need to leave she turned to her father and asked for a father's blessing. My heart stopped. She was finally at a place where she desired to feel the peace that she could only get through that blessing. How grateful I am that David immediately responded and was able to bless her. When he took her home and they talked he was able to teach her and comfort her a little. Her trials are many now. She has had a hard time of things, mostly from her choices but some because of things out of her control.

As we were doing family night and Chelsea and Paige were both there - some of the kids to sick to come down from their beds - we talked and sang the articles of faith. We learned three of them together (actually helped Autumn and Taylor work on them) How sweet to hear from their mouths the words of faith that will sustain them and carry them through their trials. Those two girls of mine knew that last night we would be together as a family. They wanted to join us and be with us. Even though they might choose other things at this point I know in their hearts they have the seed of faith planted and as they continue to turn to it, it will grow and grow and they can once again feel the sweet peace the gospel can bring them. I know they can "walk". It might be slow to start and maybe even a few steps backwards but eventually they will move forward! I am so glad my mind was open to hear what I was to learn over the last few weeks so I would recognize the principles in action as I witnessed it with an open and forgiving heart!

Yesterday, tomorrow or today?

Today while driving to Fred Meyers to purchase some shelves (I am doing an office make-over) Autumn was just cracking me up. She has a memory like an elephant and does not forget anything promised to her. The conversation was something like this:

"Mom, is today tomorrow?"

"Yes, if yesterday was when you were told tomorrow."

"Was yesterday after church day?"

"Yes, church day was five days ago."

"So does that mean that tomorrow already happened?"

"Autumn, what was supposed to happen on "tomorrow"?"

"I supposed to go to Toshia's house."

"You did go to Toshia's yesterday."

"But I think I supposed to go on tomorrow."

Needless to say I was a confused mess as to what day it was let alone when I got to Fred Meyers I totally forgot why I was there. On the way there I had told Autumn to remind me that I had a book to pick up at the book store. When I said to her, "Why did I come here?" she said, "well, maybe you thought this was the way to that book store where your book is. But if you ask me I still don't get why yesterday I was at Toshia's when I was supposed to go tomorrow!" Now I am aware that five year olds can get confused but surely there must be simple way to explain the whole today, tomorrow, yesterday thing without me getting mixed up:) I finally (after walking around the store for about five minutes) remembered why I was there. As we passed the playland Autumn asked if she could go in and so I inquired at the desk and found out she was too old. When I told her she replied, "Mom, I never knew what is was like to be to old before. Now I know when you say you are old you must be missing playland." Can I just say I have been chuckling all afternoon over this silly conversation. As she is now off playing with the kids I am a little sad that these moments will be soon gone and she will be all grown up. I truly treasure the sweet hours during the school day that I spend with her. Only Ashleigh got this much undivided attention from me and I am sure she does not remember it.

I only hope that as I remember all my yesterdays today, that my tomorrows will be filled with sweet days like today!

A treat for myself

It has been a very long time since I have gone shopping for myself. Yesterday I was supposed to be buying work shoes for David and could not find what he needed so instead I found some treats for myself. At first I was not going to get anything but then realized I had earned it. I have lost 19 pounds and wanted a new pair of jeans and some exercise clothes. I have some more weight to lose but I think being over half way to my goal I needed to reward myself. I had a lot of fun just shopping and trying things on. In the end I got two pairs of pants (on sale for $7.00 each) and three sweaters and some exercise pants and shirt. I thought on the way home about how it is totally OK to reward yourself especially when you have worked hard to earn it. I can say no one else around here was going to take me shopping;) Many times I do things for myself when I have worked hard cleaning or de-cluttering an area of my home. Usually it is to create something for my home or buy some kind of new organizing thing - but yesterday I wanted to do something just for me! In January I bought some new bath soaps and lotions - I was so excited to find such good deal on them. So I have decided part of my "live, laugh, love" theme for the year that part of my "living" will be to reward myself each month with a little treat. I am going to set a personal goal each month and work hard on it and then reward myself. I think that all in all the "living" part will be keeping me "laughing" and "loving" all during the month.

Quote

The quote I found from Sis. Hinckley says it all for me. This is exactly the attitude I want to adopt. I look back and there have been to many times I have "cried over spilt milk" so to speak. I have heard several times over the last few months the brethren talk about laughing more. So today when I found spilt rice all over the floor, and the kids were not the quietest at the dentist office (side note: only one cavity among 6 kids!yahoo!), three little girls in the back seat of the suburban fighting like cats and dogs for the 30 minute ride home from the dentist, all the laundry dumped out in the hallway for want of a pair of jeans, and syrup and jelly smeared all over the kitchen counters - you could say I have been having one laugh right ofter the other around here - and laughing actually has helped me to enjoy the clean up and as the kids are all in school I am chuckling at the silly situation that caused all the commotion in the back seat - What can I say but "Live, Laugh, Love"!

Sweet reminder

For FHE this week I did a lesson on the people of Jared and how the brother of Jared prayed that they would not lose their language and the whole tower of Babel story. We then talked about building the barges and how they crossed to the new land. The main point I wanted to emphasize was that when they got there they prayed and thanked Heavenly Father for all he had done to protect them and bring them safely there. Our discussion was centered on the fact the we not only pray for the things we want or need but that after the answer has come or we see that we had been protected we need to stop and thank Heavenly Father for answering our prayers. Autumn then related a story she had learned in Primary about when Jesus healed some men and only one came back and thanked Him. (It was her simple five year old version of when Jesus healed the ten lepers) We just sat there in amazement that first of all she was actually paying attention to the FHE and that she remembered what she had been taught in her Primary class. Not that she is not capable of this but her five year old mind does not always think the same as us:) Anyway, today actually just minutes ago, she surprised me again with how she was paying attention. The conversation went something like this:

Autumn: I am so hungry (a phrase I hear at least 100 times a day)

Me: Go get a cracker, I am almost done (working on taxes)

Autumn: I don't want a cracker, isn't there anything else?

Me: No, just let me have five more minutes.
Me: Autumn, what are you doing? (As she is kneeling under my desk)

Autumn: I am praying to Heavenly Father that you will think of something else besides a cracker for me to eat!

Me: (after I see she is done) Well, go get an apple or orange from the fridge.

Autumn then runs off and brings back an orange to peel. While I am doing that she is back under the desk.

Me: Autumn, get out from under there and eat this out in the kitchen!

Autumn: What, I am praying and thanking Heavenly Father that you thought of an orange for me to eat instead of the crackers, isn't that what you told us to do?

Wow, I love it when their sweet minds remember the things we teach especially when we least think they are paying attention. Her reminder to me of what she was taught in an informal setting brought me to my knees to thank my Heavenly Father for answering my many petitions to him to send these spirits down to our family and for allowing me the opportunity to teach and love them!

Hearts for the ones I love

Saturday when the boys were out on their snow camp out I was in the mood to bake. I don't know why I can't eat any of it - but I think I do that to myself to prove I have willpower -whatever! Anyway, I usually use an old shortbread recipe I have for cut out cookies. This time I used a new recipe that I came across while blog surfing (instead of surfing the Internet I surf blogs - I don't know if that is what you call it but I sometimes spend to much time doing it;)) The recipe is not for the diet minded person -

4 Cups of flour
1 lb. of butter
1 Cup of sugar
1 tsp. almond extract

Blend butter and sugar together and add extract. Add flour. Roll out on floured surface. (I refrigerated some of the dough while I worked with the first piece. I did not find that it made that much of a difference) Bake at 300 degrees for 25-30 minutes. Take out when cookies just start to brown.

For these sweet things I melted chocolate and dipped half the heart in. My kids were funny because they wanted the whole heart dipped. I wanted to make an "artistic" statement. Whatever, they enjoyed licking the leftover chocolate out the pan:)


The boys were so surprised to come home to such a delicious treat. They were funny because they weren't sure if they could eat them and because I have not done lots of baking as of late - I think they thought they were for an event. When I told them I was welcoming in February with hearts for the ones I loved they were so jazzed. David has hid some to make sure they last all week for his lunch. I do have to say I resisted really good through the whole process. I found a half eaten one (probably Autumn thinking that if she left some of it no one would notice one was missing) so I did taste it and I have to say they were so yummy! I did not need anymore after that but I have to say that it is a good thing for David I am not eating lots of treats right now or he would not have any left for his lunch by Friday:)