Today at church I had the most amazing experience. I have a beautiful life. I have amazing children and the most awesome husband. Occasionally my children have been known to make poor choices. This does not do a mother's heart any good. So on occasion I let myself wallow in a little pity party. I know this is not good and I do try to limit these little parties and try to keep them to myself, of course. As always I pray for more strength to be a better mother. A better example and to find the positive and good in all my children.
My experience of today is built from something that happened earlier this year. I had been called to be the craft person for girls camp. With this call came a special experience for me. While I was set apart Heavenly Father answered some of my concerns in that prayer. I felt the power of the priesthood in all its force while the brother laid his hands on my head to give me support for this calling. He did not know me or the struggles I had been facing with my children. His prayer was powerful and gave me strength in more ways than just dealing with "crafts" for girls camp. I was so honored that Heavenly Father felt my pains and heartaches and saw fit to lift me at that time. Little did I know what I was going to need that strength for. I felt as if I have given that trial of my life all that I could - Paige is struggling so much again but still doing better than in the past. A couple of weeks ago I had a situation hit me right in the face. I knew what I was needing but the person that thought she was helping me was actually making things worse. She did not know all of the situation and was not seeming to me to be listening to me. I fell apart. I don't do that very often. Thank goodness I have a great friend that helped me through this little situation. So then I went to girls camp and had some great experiences. I saw how awesome the youth of this stake are and how for the most part they are trying so hard to do what is right. My spirits were lifted. I see Taylor getting to rub shoulders with these youth and being influenced for the better because of their examples. She will be in
YW in a few months. I felt as if girls camp was more for me than for me to be there for the girls. I came away lifted and able to move forward. No more pity party. Again the Lord knew how to let me know He was watching out for me.
Then today two things happened. I received a note from one of my daughters from trek. Trek was two years ago and David and I were a ma and pa to a small group of youth for a week. I had been praying with great hope this morning for help to have more patience and love in my heart for some of my kids that are trying me right now. I love them all so much but feel like sometimes I am just pointing out all the negative they are doing instead of the positive. I try to live what I teach them but it is so hard when they bicker and fight and seem to not get along with each other. The hot weather seems to bring out the "
grouchies" in everyone. The words she shared with me in her letter once again were words that Heavenly Father knew that I needed to hear today! I had told her something during the trek that has stayed with her all this time and has often brought her a good deal of comfort. I had no idea that one simple little statement would do her so much good! Then those sweet sunbeams were just adorable today and I felt a peace and calm in class as they were so busy learning about prayer. I sang a primary song all during the lesson today and I kept singing more for myself than for them. It's just a sweet song teaching them the proper way to pray. Jenn (my sweet helper) pointed out a really neat thing that I knew but had not thought about for a while. The way we talk to Heavenly Father is through our Savior Jesus Christ. Again I was reminded because of my elder brother I can communicate and ask Heavenly Father for anything I need as I thank Him for the many blessings He has given me. This was heavy on my mind the last few minutes of class. After primary was finished I went to get set apart for this new calling as sunbeam teacher. The bishop set me apart. I had not shared any of my last few months of struggles with him before hand - so when he got to the end of his blessing and again spoke words that I knew were from Heavenly Father and how mindful He is of me and my families situation I was taken back.
My heart is so full from the experiences of today and a few months ago. The Lord does answer our prayers. Many times we have to be listening and watching because He answers through other people. I know He loves me and is watching out for me. I have strength because even though the struggles and trials are not going to go away I have peace. As I pondered tonight the experiences of today and few months ago, I know that if I will see my children and the children I have stewardship over through my callings through Heavenly Father's eyes then this mother's eyes will only see beautiful spirits that fought so valiantly before coming here to earth! How can I help but be a "happy" mother!
We had so much fun Tuesday night! Aundrea and I took the little girls to the American Idol Jordin Sparks concert. They were so cute. I think they had lots of fun and it was small enough that I could watch them from a short distance as they got to be right up in front. At one point she touched Hayden's hand. Hayden came back over to me just as excited as a nine year old could get! There were a couple of other groups that opened for her. They were good but I think it confused Autumn. She finally came over and gave me the sign that she had made for Jordin and said, "I guess she's not coming." I finally convinced her that she was coming out in a little bit and she went back over and watched. For all of that she lasted about a half hour into Jordin's set and came over and sat on my lap.
